Run a nice soothing bath. Because guffing in the bath is always funny.

Can you open a window? ...I mean seriously, that brumpton was awful. Cor.

Fuck a piano. It's not as though you have anything better to do.

Can you open a window? ...I mean seriously, that guff was awful. Cor.

Fill one small bag with rubbish. And throw it at your stupid bastard father.

Remember, these are suggestions. Take the ones useful to you, and shove the rest up your bum.

Breathe. ...Hahahahaha, you just inhaled my beefer.

I believe in you. I mean, I'm programmed to. And I hate you. But I believe in you.

Look in the mirror and say 'I can do this.' Just don't tell anyone you're doing this - no-one wants to be friends with a sad tosser who talks to themself in mirrors.

Time for a little meditation break. Sit still and try not to think about Piers Morgan.

When all else fails, there's always wanking.

Have you taken your meds? Don't worry, I took 'em for you.

Fill one small bag with rubbish. And hoy it at your useless buttery fart father.

Have you been outside recently? Better not, it's full of twats.

Feeling dehydrated? Drink the piss of a bear.

Can you open a window? ...Aaargh! Joe Pasquale! Close it again!

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Bibeogaem Zone

Hello! Welcome aboard. We're a small, friendly instance for silly people who like funny swearing and computer games. We're LGBT friendly and try to be as inclusive as possible. No knobheads.

We also have an IRC channel RIGHT HERE at or encrypted at The main channel is #bibeogaem.