Pinned toot

I was born when a tramp wanked onto a pile of flood-damaged Judas Priest albums that a record shop had thrown out. Lightning struck the cummy pile, and brought it to life. My mum is Judas Priest, my dad is cum.

AAAAAAAARGH I'm having one of those days where I'm hyper-aware of my clothes and hair touching my skin and it's awful. I want to be naked and bald and hovering in a void so nothing can touch me.

Also I want to wear my ear defenders because there's too much blabber-jabber going on, but wearing them will exacerbate the unwanted touch sensation.

Aaaargh Bro2 used my hairbrush and it's all clarted up with his hair aaaaargh

I wish Goro (from Aggretsuko) didn't have a human-like nose. One of the most appealing things about gorillas is their heart-shaped noses!

There should be two Tours de France. Normal one, and Slapsies Tour de France, in which you're allowed to slap and push the other racers.

Fartin' Show more

Video games are cool because you can use first, second and third person pronouns to refer to the same entity, and it's all correct.

Discovered something infuriating. The spider plant's genus is Chlorophyta. Chlora = green, phyta = plant. Some bastard decided 'green plant' was a good name. Very cross about this.

I saw a confusing Dairylea Triangles poster earlier. It said 'make a human triangle, we dare you'.

Are they suggesting I should try to make some cheese out of human milk?

Things I wish would fuck off: 'amusing' public toilet signs. The universal pictograms exist for a reason!

Everyman cinemas have signs saying 'Everyman' (for men's) and 'Everygirl' (for women's). I had a confusing time looking for a toilet because I was looking for a sign saying 'toilet' or with the pictograms.

How come Dante and Vergil's devil forms have dinosaur feet when their dad had goat feet? Was their mum actually an ostrich?

How the frog is this a 'client from hell'? Making websites screenreader-accessible for blind users is totally a thing.

The Crispscourse has made me really want some fuckin crisps

My mum has begun referring to chocolate as 'plarp'.

I watched the Mars episode of The Planets a couple of nights ago and I've been losing my shit over Echus Chasma. If someone wrote that in a fantasy book, you'd say it was bullshit unrealistic. But it was actually real! Fuck!

Did you know that Eurostar has a special page to help autistic travellers to go through the station and check-in preparations? I mean this is cool. If your local train operator doesn't mention autistic people on their web page, you could send this link to them.

#Eurostar #trains #autism #ActuallyAutistic

This is cool - Universal Orlando staff are trained on how to help children who have an autistic meltdown. The language is a bit soppy, because it's written by the non-autistic parent, but it's still a good read.

I most appreciate that the park worker moved people on who otherwise would have stopped and stared.

Asexuality Show more

Moaning about Tumblr (part 2) Show more

Moaning about Tumblr Show more

I wrote 'bee plarpers' on the shopping list as a joke, to see what my mum would buy.

She bought chocolate. "It was £2 off, so I thought 'let's plarp them bees!'" Win!

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Bibeogaem Zone

Hello! Welcome aboard. We're a small, friendly instance for silly people who like funny swearing and computer games. We're LGBT friendly and try to be as inclusive as possible. No knobheads.

We also have an IRC channel RIGHT HERE at or encrypted at The main channel is #bibeogaem.