Spakker Humanoid is a user on You can follow them or interact with them if you have an account anywhere in the fediverse. If you don't, you can sign up here.

Spakker Humanoid

Pinned toot

I was born when a tramp wanked onto a pile of flood-damaged Judas Priest albums that a record shop had thrown out. Lightning struck the cummy pile, and brought it to life. My mum is Judas Priest, my dad is cum.

Nice one, Merge Dragons seems to have fixed the battery drainage.

REMINDER: Giant isopods are fucking cool

I want to get my hair dyed black. You gotta try these things once.

reminder of when Ars Technica made a post about Firefox Quantum and the writer took a screenshot of his Firefox window with a background tab for a Google search for "furries"

To be fair, what else are KFC gonna run our of?

apple’s new animoji for iphone x look almost exactly like the FMVs for hogs of war (2000), i sure hope they’ve dubbed in some classic rik mayall

My 3 year old boy was angrily convinced I'd called him "Egg Dude" this morning (I hadn't).

This is now literally the only thing I want to call him forever.

Ever between the Scylla of dry and rubbish skin and the Charybdis of having to apply horrid slimy lotion

Despicable Me 3 spoilers Show more

People at work have piss-poor reading comprehension Show more

Dream diary Show more

Look at this nasty-ass curry my mum's friend made for us. I'm trying to boil some of the liquid off it because it's basically vegetable broth with chickpeas floating in it.

Nice, I've educated a few people at work about Autism Speaks. (If you didn't know, it's a shitty 'charity' that's actually a eugenics org in disguise. Don't give them any money.)

Ubuntu is an African word meaning "Debian with more shitware and less stability"

If you were a breech birth (feet first), you briefly wore your mum as a hat.

Also, if I go to bed I can play with my Switch lying down. I bought a gooseneck clamp that holds the screen so I can hold just the controllers.