I was born when a tramp wanked onto a pile of flood-damaged Judas Priest albums that a record shop had thrown out. Lightning struck the cummy pile, and brought it to life. My mum is Judas Priest, my dad is cum.
Nice one, Merge Dragons seems to have fixed the battery drainage.
I want to get my hair dyed black. You gotta try these things once.
reminder of when Ars Technica made a post about Firefox Quantum and the writer took a screenshot of his Firefox window with a background tab for a Google search for "furries"
To be fair, what else are KFC gonna run our of?
Meanwhile in the UK, people are calling the police because KFC have run out of chicken http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/02/20/kfc-chicken-shortage-causes-chaos-police-tell-customers-stop/
apple’s new animoji for iphone x look almost exactly like the FMVs for hogs of war (2000), i sure hope they’ve dubbed in some classic rik mayall
My 3 year old boy was angrily convinced I'd called him "Egg Dude" this morning (I hadn't).
This is now literally the only thing I want to call him forever.
Ever between the Scylla of dry and rubbish skin and the Charybdis of having to apply horrid slimy lotion
People at work have piss-poor reading comprehension Show more
Someone emailed me a document the other day, because the formatting had gone all rubbish and they didn't know why. I unfucked it, then emailed back saying I fixed it, here's why it fucked up, here's how I unfucked it.
Today they emailed me another document with the same issue, asking me to fix that one too. Do it yourself FFS. I don't think they read beyond 'I fixed it'.
Dream diary Show more
Had a very unsatisfactory dream last night. I had the opportunity to kill Donald Trump but didn't take it because I chickened out. There was a high chance of getting caught, plus I would have had to be sure of killing him in one hit otherwise he would have fought back.
Ubuntu is an African word meaning "Debian with more shitware and less stability"
If you were a breech birth (feet first), you briefly wore your mum as a hat.
Also, if I go to bed I can play with my Switch lying down. I bought a gooseneck clamp that holds the screen so I can hold just the controllers.