Pinned toot

I was born when a tramp wanked onto a pile of flood-damaged Judas Priest albums that a record shop had thrown out. Lightning struck the cummy pile, and brought it to life. My mum is Judas Priest, my dad is cum.

Pack your anus full of butter. Even you can't fuck that up.

Bauhaus' Bela Lugosi's Dead, played at 1.5 speed, sounds rather jaunty and like a funny country song.

I know vitamin supplements are a thing. But I think consuming supplements instead of getting the nutrients from food means my diet is stupid. It's like someone taking vitamin C pills instead of eating fruit or veg (when they're not allergic to it or whatever). Just eat the dang fruit. Can't get B12 without eating animals? Time for me to eat the dang animals.

Thinking I might end my veganism of 16 years and go back to eating invertebrates.

I had a recent blood test (full blood count) which came back 'borderline', which I'm assuming means I'm on the the cusp of not having enough iron or vitamin B12. Iron is fixable, but there aren't any natural plant sources of B12, so I currently rely on fortified yeast for that.

The more human something is, the less delicious it is. Mammals are not as tasty as birds. Birds are not as tasty as fish. Fish are not as tasty as invertebrates.

Saturn's rings are only about a hundred million years old, and will only last for another hundred million years or so sadly enough. Portions of the ring are falling to Saturn as "ring rain" and were detected by the Cassini spacecraft in 2017.

In fact, some astronomers speculate that perhaps this isn't even the first set of rings Saturn has had in the past.

Dream diary, puke, Rod Stewart Show more

Bathroom selfies, soapy face mask, kinda looks like a Fallout ghoul Show more

Look at this shitshow in the work dishwasher. It's not a magic box that you can cram-a-lam shit into any which way and expect it to get clean!

My mum is at Colchester Zoo. Apparently all the spider monkeys have their willies out today.

I'm glad blogs were invented in the 00s. If they had been invented in the 90s, they'd probably be called cyber-diaries or some bollocks.

poo poo pee pee Show more

There is only ONE piece of evidence that suggests that the Moon landings were faked. When Armstrong stepped on the Moon, he said a nice scripted profound soundbite instead of 'FUCKING HELL, I'M ON THE ACTUAL SHITTING BASTARD MOON! FUCK!'

Period is red
Haemmorhoids are blue
Rim me, you fuck
I dare you

Hey folks, @pupper and I have had all of our benefits cut with no chance of anything changing before March. They're not getting more than eight hours a week from their job. We're entirely reliant on donations for food and bills right now. Please share and give a little if you have it to spare. Thank you.

People who base their comedy on being offensive get really fucking angry when someone is actually offended

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Bibeogaem Zone

Hello! Welcome aboard. We're a small, friendly instance for silly people who like funny swearing and computer games. We're LGBT friendly and try to be as inclusive as possible. No knobheads.

We also have an IRC channel RIGHT HERE at or encrypted at The main channel is #bibeogaem.